I haven’t done or read any research about this, but based on my own experiences and the experiences of those around me, I would say that negative self-talk is an elusive epidemic that is causing much of the pain and turmoil we face in our every day lives.

Self-talk is just that – talking to the self.  It’s all the stuff that goes on in our heads throughout the day.  This talk can be good or bad.  When we’re feeling good about ourselves, we may look in the mirror and say “Damn, I’m one hot human being!”  It’s the voice in our head that says “Good job, you got this!” after getting a good grade on a paper, writing a good song, or succeeding at work.

On the flip-side, it can also be the voice telling us we’re not good enough.  It can be the voice that says, “What are you doing, you idiot?! You’re just gonna screw everything up, aren’t you?”  It’s the voice that drags us down, that critiques every little thing we do, that tells us we aren’t worthy of all the good things this life has to offer.  And it’s so subtle and unconscious that 90% of the time we don’t even realize the detrimental effect this talk is having on our psyche.

I have a HUGE problem with negative self-talk.  Though I admit that I’m better about it now more than ever, when I’m having my down days, it is the number one thing I struggle with.  Back in 2009-2010, I was teaching a life-skills class at a community college, and one of the chapters in our text discussed negative self-talk.  That is when I realized this little demon inside my head that was always dragging me down.

If our thoughts create our reality and we’re filling our heads with all these negative thoughts about ourselves, then that negativity is going to manifest in our lives.  It’s going to manifest as these deep feelings of unhappiness.  Or all of a sudden all these little things will keep going wrong on our lives.  Or, to the worst extreme, we will live a life where we constantly are at battle with our self-worth, leading to lots of heartache and pain.

Are you like me and struggle with negative self-talk?  Do you constantly degrade yourself and say worse things to yourself in your head than you’d ever dream of actually saying out loud to another person?  Don’t worry, you aren’t destined for failure and pain like you may be feeling.  You have the opportunity, today, to turn your self-talk around and start filling your beautiful mind with beautiful thoughts about your beautiful self.

Affirmations are a great way to turn your negative self-talk into positive self talk.  I did this activity with my students, and I still use it today.  Pick three adjectives that describe the type of person you want to believe (and deep down KNOW you are).  For me, I chose Strong,  Intelligent, and Loving.  Then, simply plug those words into the following sentence:

I am a ________, ________,  ________ woman/man.

I am a strong, intelligent, loving woman.

Write this sentence on a post-it or note card and put it somewhere you’ll see it everyday.  Read this sentence as a part of your daily routine.  And then throughout the day, when you hear that negative banter start in your head, stop everything you are doing, and say this affirmation to yourself.

Affirmations have the power to retrain and rewire our brains.  (Google it – Affirmations are where it’s at, yo!)  Our minds are filled with years of oppression and negativity that society has crammed into them.  And it’s time for a shift.  We all have the power to retrain our brains to think positive, uplifting things about ourselves, and doing so will help us get even closer to true self-love.

Create an affirmation that shows the real you, the you that you know you are deep down.  Say it to yourself often.  Heck, pretend it’s a broken record and let it play over and over again in your head, keeping all negative thoughts out.  You can’t truly love yourself if your mind is constantly filled with self-deprecating heckling.  So lay the heckler to rest and let that little voice in your head become your biggest fan!

Positive Self-Talk Meditation

I acknowledge and accept that I am a beautiful, perfect, divine creature.

I am a ______, ______, ______, woman/man.

I release the false, negative self-talk that goes on in my head, and I replace it with true, divine self-love.