When I was journaling this morning, I wrote about regret.  I struggle with regret – constantly wishing I had done things differently or had different outcomes.  (This morning, it was me fretting over the fact that I didn’t back up my laptop like I should have when I had to get it fixed a few weeks ago, thus losing all my Adobe and Office programs…grrr.)  Having regret is a sure-fire sign that you aren’t living in the now.  It shows that you’re letting your ego get the best of you, and it really isn’t an emotion that you want to keep choosing to feel over and over again.  Does it suck that I lost my programs?  Yeah, big time, especially when I’m trying to redesign so much of my site.  (And write two books.)  But is beating myself up over it or regretting what I had done and wishing I had done different going to magically make those programs reappear on my computer? No, of course not.

You can’t go back and change what’s happened in the past, so why waste your precious, creative energy fretting about it?

I scribbled out my frustrations with regret, and I realized that I needed to do two things – acknowledge and release.  I had to acknowledge my regret.  Acknowledge and accept what’s creating that regret.  I ended up expressing something like: “I wish I would have been more responsible and organized so that I didn’t lose something that’s so important in creating my work.”

Then, I had to release that regret – accepting the lesson it has taught me, but knowing that I don’t want to feel that way anymore.  “I realize I need to be more responsible and productive.  Procrastination and doing whatever I can to take the easy way out are habits that are not serving my good.  The next time life presents a similar situation, I will choose differently.  I’ll make better choices that will help me achieve my good.”

We need to remember that today is a new day.  We get to choose whether we’re going to carry that guilt, shame, and regret around with us all day, or if we’re going to choose to let it go and be peaceful and happy today.  (I’ve been choosing joy and love a lot these days, and it’s showing in the things that happen around me.)

So I begin this new week as a fresh start!  Forget the fact that it’s the end of March and I still haven’t gone to a yoga class like I’ve said I’m going to since the semester started.  Forget the fact that I can’t even remember the last time I truly meditated (really, it’s bad…I think maybe August or September??).  Forget the fact that maybe I feel like I still haven’t been very productive with my new schedule and routine all semester…forget it all!!

No more guilt trips.  No more regret.

Since Dustin is in massage school, we basically have a set schedule for the next six months.  It’s been three weeks, and we’ve been experimenting with our routines and figuring out what works best when.  (Good writing seems to happen on Mondays and Wednesdays.  Grocery shopping is Thursdays.  House cleaning on Fridays.  Sunday mornings are definitely lay-in-bed-and-do-nothing-until-we-absolutely-have-to days.)  Three weeks ago, I wrote out a list of potential yoga classes I could go to each day of the week, but I still haven’t gone to a single one.  I still haven’t done a big craft project like I keep saying I’m going to, and dog walking has gone from every day to maybe twice a week.

Since I’m now living by the above “No more guilt trips. No more regret.” philosophy, I’m not going to beat myself up over these things.  Instead, I’m just going to do what I say I’m going to do.

Great philosophy, huh?  Danielle LaPorte taught it to me.

So this morning, a little after 7, after a peaceful morning of getting Julien ready and off to school and before Matisse woke up, I had some quiet, peaceful time to think about my week ahead and reflect on what I wanted to do this week that would make me feel how I want to feel in life.

I penciled in three yoga classes (Tues, Wed, and Fri), blocked out Wednesday morning for writing, scheduled errands around town for Tues and Thurs, and left the rest of Wednesday and Thursday open for crafting and helping my friend David get ready for his store’s ribbon cutting on Thursday evening.

My thought is to try to live out one week as the perfect, most productive week.  (Perhaps a little idealistic, but the intrinsic motivation is good for me.)

I’m off to a pretty great start so far.  I had a wonderful morning taking care of my family, I already have a clean house and walked dogs by 11 am, and here I am, blogging away before noon!  I’ve got some down time to myself before Dustin and Matisse get back from homeschool co-op, then it’s off to get Julien and have some Kimi time with the boys while Dustin goes to class tonight.

I’m very grateful for this life I get to live.  I didn’t have to trudge into an office this morning like many others.  I was able to leisurely walk my pups while the neighborhood is quiet with everyone at work and school.  I get to spend quality time with the people I love, and (don’t hate me for this) I even get to take a nap today.  As soon as I finish posting this, in fact.

When I change my perspective from looking at all that’s wrong in my world to looking at all that’s right in it, miracles happen.

Today, I feel like that miracle is the simple fact that the house is cleaned, dogs are walked, blog is about to be posted, and I still have two hours of solitude in the house. It’s the little things. 🙂

So with that, I’m going to quit writing now and move on to the next thing on today’s perfect to-do list: NAP!

For love, productivity, and naps,

Kim