**Note: This was actually written on April 3, but I never posted it.  I’m posting it now, nearly a month later just because I felt I needed to.  I have too many drafts that go unpublished, and I don’t want to do that anymore.  Better late than never, right?**

So, rough couple of days for the Allens…

We spent money we didn’t have to get the truck fixed last week, and then it ran fine for two days and then didn’t start for me when I went to leave for work Saturday morning (and of course, it was the one random day that I had planned on picking up a coworker on my way in).  So now we’re back to one car again, which is stressful.  There are too many work shifts, classes, baseball practices, and errands to be sharing a car.  But we’re making it work.

Also, I was planning on going to Indiana this weekend which I can’t do now because I can’t leave Dustin without a car.  Plus, work was crazy slow last weekend, and I had my least profitable week since starting there.  So really, even if the truck were fixed, I still wouldn’t be able to afford the drive home.

I’m heartbroken because my little brother who recently got back from Afghanistan and my older brother who is moving to Seattle in two weeks with his wife and daughter are all going to be in Sullivan, and I really wanted to be there to see everybody.  I miss my family so much and this is likely the last time we’ll all be together until Christmas.  I’ll be missing them a lot this weekend.  And it’s gonna hurt.

Then, to top it all off, Draco, our little water dragon, passed the other night.  I found him lifeless when I went to turn on his lights Monday morning. 🙁  He’d been sick for a few weeks, but we were really hoping he’d pull through.  The boys took it well, and I’m doing ok, too.   I put him in a box and wrapped it with paper.  Julien wanted to decorate the front of it, so he wrote “Draco” and drew a heart with all of our initials on the front of it.  Then he wrote “I love you” really big at the bottom.  Matisse wrote him a letter and tucked it in the box.  We buried him next to Geckie (let’s not talking about the pet graveyard we’re accumulating…), and we all sat on the grass together for a few minutes talking about what a good lizard he was and taking turns guessing what he might reincarnate as. 😉  (Tisse bets an alligator.)  Then we had to rush off to their first baseball game… *sigh*  They were troopers.

I’d been debating all week whether or not to post about all the unfortunate things that have happened the past few days.  I hate to sound like “Negative Nancy” or as if I’m griping or complaining.

(I have to remind myself that this is my blog and I can kind of do what I want and to not over-analyze things too much.)

Regardless, these are emotions I am experiencing, and I need to express them.  I’m very frustrated right now.  And that’s ok.

That frustration was expressed by me completely rearranging the living room over the past two days.  Spring cleaning in full effect!  I asked Dustin the other night while we were moving furniture at 10:30pm if he thought I was crazy.  He smiled and nodded his head.

I still have so much to be grateful for, and I am every day.  I keep trusting that we are always taken care of and that our needs are always met.