After I went to the doctor that Saturday morning and had my pregnancy confirmed, I had to go straight to work at The Bier Garden.  I was there for about an hour before I couldn’t handle it anymore and spilled the beans to a coworker, which led to the entire staff working that day finding out.  So as sad as it is to say, my coworkers all found out about the pregnancy before most of my family did – my mom included!  (Sorry, Mom!)  In my defense, I tried calling her on my way to work, but she was locked up in prison (hehe, it’s always funny to say that).  She and my dad have a prison ministry, and they had an event going on that day.  So that meant she was completely unreachable until later that evening.

Somehow, I was able to get through my shift, and as soon as I got off, I started my long list of phone calls to share the happy news.  Again, such a surreal experience!  I’d been dreaming of saying the words “I’m pregnant!” and now there I was!  When I called my mom, she shrieked with joy.  My dad, in his usual humor, starting making up ridiculous baby name ideas (including Rufus, the silly name he likes to call my dog, Murphy). 😉

When I called my grandma, that’s when the water works really started.  She and I have such a wonderful, blessed relationship.  She’d been ill since the first of the year.  She has a lung disease that has caused her lung capacity to go down to only 45%.  She came down with a bad bout of pneumonia back in January, and she had to be admitted to a nursing home shortly after.  The doctors told us that things weren’t looking good, and we had to start preparing for the worst.  When she was admitted, we thought she would only last a couple of months.  My younger brother was due back from a deployment to Afghanistan mid-March, and honestly, I thought that after she was able to see him again and say her goodbyes, she would eventually pass.  I visited her in late February, essentially to say goodbye.  When I called to tell her about the baby, I found out that she’d had some good improvements, but she still wasn’t able to live on her own and needed constant care.  I burst into tears immediately upon telling her I was pregnant.  The uncertainties of whether or not she’d meet this baby was just too unbearable.  “You need to hang in there now,” I told her.  “You have a new great-grand to meet this year!”  We were both in tears and admitted that only God knows what is in store for her and her life.  He’s kept her around this long, so all we could do was pray he’d keep her around a little longer.  Well, I am pretty freaking happy to say that she has improved so much over the last two months that a few weekends ago, she was moved out of the nursing home and into assisted living!  She’s able to walk with a walker and take care of her own basic needs.  So she has her own little apartment, has all of her needs met, and there is someone on call 24-7 if she needs anything.  She’s able to come and go as she pleases with the help of my parents, and her strength is getting better everyday.  We still don’t know what the future holds, but it’s looking like she just may meet this baby after all! 🙂  God obviously has a reason for her to stay in this earthly realm a little bit longer, and for that, I am oh so grateful.

So fast-forward a few weeks to our first doctor appointment and ultrasound.

WOW.

That’s about all I can say.

I’d been dreaming of the moment when I’d see that little baby blurb on the screen and everything would become real…really real.  And it was as beautiful as I had dreamed.

We weren’t able to hear the heartbeat because the machine they were using didn’t have a doppler, but we saw that little baby blurb.    As expected, I immediately broke into tears.  We saw the little heart beating away.  It was real.  There really was a little baby in my belly.  And it was perfectly healthy.  She even did a couple  of flips for us.  (Yes, I’m saying she until I know better…just humor me. 😉 )  For the weeks leading up to the appointment, I was (of course) filled with the natural worries and fears that women get during early pregnancy.  Is everything ok?  Has it implanted as it’s supposed to?  Is it really alive in there??  All those fears melted away at the sight of that little beating heart and the sound of those reassuring words from the doctor saying everything is perfect and healthy.

When the ultrasound tech finished, she printed off that little picture, and I just stared at it – hand over my mouth, eyes wide (and wet).  That was my uterus and there was a baby in it.  When she left the room, Dustin and I wrapped our arms around each other and just embraced and sobbed for a few minutes.  That was our little baby on the screen.  The little baby we’d been dreaming about for years.  The little baby that we thought would never come.  How freakin’ amazing!!!  Those were the first tears of joy that we shed together since finding out about the pregnancy.  And since then, the joy hasn’t stopped, and I still burst into tears sometimes when I sit down and think, “Wow, I’m really pregnant.”  But that’s normal, right? 🙂