Baby Baby Baby!!

The type of belly pics I send to my sister. 😉

That’s about all that’s on my mind these days.

Well, that, and trying to figure out the logistics of our life right now.  We have a lot going on and a lot that we have to get figured out in the next month.  We have to be out of our house by Oct. 1, and we have yet to find a new place to live.  We’re down to one car again, which gets pretty tricky and results in me having to get dropped off at work about 45 minutes early a few days a week, and we still haven’t really figured out who’s going to help deliver this baby.

So…been feeling a little bit of pressure and stress underneath this pregnancy bliss.  Add that onto the fact that my prego hormones are in FULL effect, and the result is that I just cry a lot.  But they’re good cries.  It always feels good to cry. 😉

We met with a potential provider yesterday, but it was a disaster.  We were already rushed because Dustin had to get to class, and the doctor was running late, of course.  So we had to leave before we even got a chance to meet her.  I’m not sure it would have worked out anyway.  Her philosophy is lined right up with ours, and she’s an MD who follows the practices of a midwife.  But she also travels a lot and may be out of town mid-late December.  One of our big reasons for seeking out a new provider is the fact that we want to know the person who will be present at the birth.  Where we’ve been going, there’re about 20 doctors on staff and you just get whoever happens to be on call when you go into labor.  We’re wanting a more personal experience (especially if we’re birthing in the hospital).  We want to know the person delivering the baby, and we want her/him to know us and our desires and wishes for how we want this birth to go.  I’ve already been going back and forth between hospital and home birth, and I’ll be a lot more comfortable with a hospital birth if I know my provider well and we have agreed upon certain things well ahead of time.

I was talking about this with my friend Judy last week.  She’s a doula and was actually studying to be a midwife here in Asheville, so she knows a lot of people and knows how things work.  I’d basically given up on the idea of a home birth solely based on financial reasons.  I’m on pregnancy medicaid, so if I birth in a hospital, I don’t have to pay a dime.  If I birth at home, it will be a considerable amount more that we’ll have to pay out of pocket.  And like I was saying before about moving into a new house and getting a new car, we’re having to watch every penny right now.  I hate that money is what’s keeping me from having the kind of birth I want to have, but it’s just the reality of our situation.

When I was talking with Judy, she said that many homebirth midwives can set up payment plans, some even allowing you two years to pay things off.  She encouraged me to really think about what I want and seek it out.  If I birth in a hospital, I have to really know my provider and make sure that we’ve agreed on how I want the birth to go.  She gave me the names of some midwives in town she recommends, so I’m going to call them to set up some appointments and just go from there.

I just keep trusting that all is going to work out.  We’ll find the perfect home.  We’ll somehow get a second car.  We’ll find the perfect person to deliver our perfect little baby.  Even come worst case scenario and I deliver at the hospital with some doctor I don’t even know, I’m just going to trust that it will all work out.  I keep picturing a beautiful, complication free birth, no matter what.

On a happy note, we’re going to Indiana this weekend for our baby shower!!!  I’m so so so so so excited!!  I can’t wait to see everyone I love and miss so much.  The only sad part is that is has to be such a fast trip.  We won’t get in until Saturday night and then we have to leave Monday afternoon.  I already get teary eyed thinking of leaving because I know I’m going to wish I had another week to spend with my family.  But alas, that’s life.  I’m just grateful for every second we have together.

Thanks for reading my baby ramblings. 🙂 I’ve got some more deep, spiritual pieces in the works, but honestly, it’s hard to write about anything but baby stuff right now, ha!  But I suppose that’s ok.

Love love love!!!