Wow.

My due date was three weeks from yesterday.  Holy. Cow.

It’s gone by so fast! I can’t believe in a matter of a couple of weeks Cohen is going to be here! What’s crazy is to think that it can pretty much happen anytime at this point.  Talk about mind boggling.

I’ve been spending a lot of time journaling, meditating, and just processing what is about to happen in my life.  It’s something I’ve wanted and dreamed about for years, and now it’s here.  It’s really going to happen!

Childbirth.

That’s a big one to process.  I’m going to birth a baby.  I don’t know when it will happen or how it will unfold – but it’s going to happen.  Honestly, I don’t have a lot of fears about childbirth.  Perhaps that’s naive of me.  Of course, there’s a bazillion things that could go wrong, but it could also all go beautifully.  And if things do go wrong, we’ll deal with them as they arise.

I’m actually kind of excited about going into labor. I’m excited to experience it. I’m excited for Dustin and I to share that experience together.  I visualize the entire process – my water breaking, contractions starting, laboring at home, going to the hospital, and then that glorious moment when my little baby is laid on my chest, skin-to skin.  I know that things may not go according to this visualization, and I’m ok with that.  I don’t know exactly how it’s all going to happen, but I trust that all will be well, no matter what.

I’m grateful to be in a city that is so mother-baby friendly.  We just finished up an amazing childbirth class with Chama Woydak of Homegrown Babies.  It was so empowering!  We learned a lot, laughed a lot, and feel so ready to birth this baby!  We did a hospital tour at Mission Hospital, where I’ll be birthing, and it helped me feel a lot more confident in our decision to go with a hospital birth.  It’s a certified mother-baby friendly hospital (a program that was launched by the World Health Organization) which means that they do everything they can to ensure healthy baby-mama bonding and care.  Things like skin-to-skin are standard, and there is no nursery – the baby stays with you in the room at all times.  They have “Water World” rooms where you can have a water birth, and they give you a lot of freedom during the laboring and birthing process.  They even have family-centered cesarean births, meaning that the curtain is lowered so that the mother can actually see the baby being born (you don’t see the incision because you still have a big belly, so all you see is the baby coming up), baby still goes to mama’s chest for skin-to-skin immediately after birth, and you can even have lights dimmed and music of your choice playing during the surgery.  So, in a worst case scenario and a cesarean is required, it can still be a beautiful, memorable experience.

It’s difficult to process that something I’ve been looking forward to for so long is now such a short time away.  My entire life is going to change in ways I can only imagine.  Not only is a baby being born, a mother is also.  I will experience a rite of passage and a transformation on all levels – physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.  And I am so so excited and so so grateful.  I’m ready to see this little baby and begin this new life as a mother.  It’s going to be great. 🙂