I’ve carried this card around with me in various journals for over 14 years. It was given to me by the prosecutor who worked my case when I was attacked and sexually assaulted in college. It states:

“Dear Kim,
I wanted to drop you a note and let you know that I have been thinking about you in the days since the sentencing. Your dignity on that day – and throughout the proceedings as a whole – was truly remarkable. As you can probably imagine, there are times when my work in law enforcement can be quite frustrating. However, there are certain moments and cases that help to remind me why I chose to be a prosecutor in the first place. Working with you was one such moment. After all that you have been through, please know that you have made a tremendously positive impact on me. I wish you all the best luck, health and happiness in your future.”

I can still remember the day I got this in the mail. I was so humbled – I remember dropping to my knees in my apartment and crying. To be told you were strong and had dignity when you just went through the hardest thing you’d ever been through in your life and had no idea how you were going to move on from it – it’s intense.

I carry this around with me to remind me of my strength. I sell myself short a lot – I suffer from negative self-talk, and I discourage myself more than I encourage myself. This card helps to remind me of my power.

I am so strong that I fought off an attacker and kept him from raping and killing me.

I am so strong that the detective was blown away by the detailed-oriented account of my attack that I wrote up for him and my ability to talk to him about it so clearly and calmly.

I am so strong that I read a statement in front of a judge, my attacker, our lawyers, and a room full of strangers stating the trauma this boy caused me and urging the judge to give him the maximum sentence so that he doesn’t hurt someone else in the future.

I am so strong that I went to hearing after hearing, often alone, to show my face, let him know my strength, and stand in my power.

I write about all of this now because I just needed a reminder of my strength, my dignity, and my morality. I’m currently being told I’m selfish, stupid, and dangerous for things like visiting my family or seeing a friend maskless. As a deeply compassionate, empathetic person, these judgements hit right to my core and make me question everything. Am I crazy? Am I wrong? Am I selfish and hurting others? Or are people projecting their own fears and issues onto me?

Recently, Dustin was asked by a friend to describe me. Among the praises was a comment about my unwavering morality. “You will not meet a person more moral than Kim Brewer Allen,” he said. I think those close to me would agree. I’m an awful liar. I always fight for the good guy, the underdog. I’m kind, I’m compassionate, and I love people. I fight for truth and justice.

If I am strong enough to stand in front of someone who tried to kill me and tell the judge why I think he deserves a longer sentence, then I think I have the strength to handle the slander and libel coming my way and the ability to do it with a smile on my face and love in my heart.

I have always stood strong and confident in my morality. I trust my inner guidance system, and I have a clear stance on who I am and what I stand for. I will happily go toe-to-toe with anyone who tries to put me down. The only problem is that most who do, just run away. They don’t want to talk. They participate in cancel culture and just write me off instead. To me, that shows their weakness. If you think I’m in the wrong, then by all means, let’s talk about it. Let’s have intellectual discourse. But most don’t. They block me or they stop responding. Meanwhile, I’m still here – standing strong in my truth, my dignity, my morality, and my love for the world.

I know my strength and power, and no matter what anyone says about me, they can’t take that away.