I’ve been home for almost a week, but just reflecting on my time at the ocean…

The ocean has always been so healing for me. I didn’t start going to the ocean regularly until Dustin and I started dating. His mom had recently moved to the beach in Florida, so we went down to see her a couple times a year. It quickly became a healing space for me. Not only were we able to relax with family and drop the kids off with Nana and get away for a bit, but I also realized the energetic power of the ocean. To walk with your feet in the sand and the salty wind through your hair and the sound of the crashing waves in your ears – it’s so energetically clearing. I’ve always been a water person (Cancer moon), so the water and the sun are so good for my soul. And sometimes it takes a good slapping around by Mama Ocean in the waves to reset my nervous system. 

It’s interesting, the memories of healing that I have from the beach…

We went to Florida as a somewhat second honeymoon a few months after getting married once my classes got out for the semester (I was teaching at the community college and in grad school at the time). This was only our second or third trip there, and it was a trip with the sole intent to be loved on, relax, care for ourselves, and enjoy ourselves. We had had a really rough few months. We got married while on spring break from classes, so it was a lot to be planning a wedding while teaching and learning. Then we had a huge fallout with my family the week before we got married, and my heart was still in pieces over it all. My sister refused to stand up with us at our wedding after some Facebook drama and her feeling Dustin wasn’t a good influence on me. It was also revealed to my very Christian parents that their perfect little Christian daughter considered herself a Christian no longer. It’s a really long story that I’m writing about for the book, so maybe you’ll all hear it in detail one day, but let’s just say it was a really difficult few months which led into a difficult few years. We’ve all healed and grown a lot since then, and I’m grateful to be where I am with my parents right now, but it’s still not to say it hasn’t been easy and that things still aren’t a little rocky. (Especially with the show.)

I remember walking on the beach for hours that trip, processing everything, trying to sort out who I am and who I want to be, trying to be my authentic self while knowing that others rather me stay the me they know me to be rather than become the me I want to be. We got bodywork and energy work done. Even went to Cassadaga and spoke with a psychic. Such a healing and spiritual trip. 

We’ve taken several other trips to the ocean that held a similar healing vibe. Trips after more family drama. Trips after moving to Asheville and restarting our life. Cohen’s first trip when my friend Julie and I went together on my first long weekend from work after being back from maternity leave. Trips with two less kids after covid tore our family apart… the ocean has always brought healing. 

Then, when my friend Brittany came into my life, more ocean opportunities arose. Her family has a condo in Myrtle, and we’ve had a few trips down there with the friend group. Two years ago, right around this same time, we had the most epic girls trip at this same beach. Me and five other amazing women. All there just to immerse ourselves in relaxation and the joy of existing. Leaning on each other for wisdom and encouragement. Creating space for sacred ceremony. All the beach dancing. Up to watch the sunrise every morning. Women supporting women. Such beauty. It was seriously a life changing trip. 

So again, I associate the ocean with healing. And magic. 

I came to the ocean 12 years ago to heal after my family fell apart and here I am again. Around the same time of year, too. Also the same time of year I went with the girls – so many beach trips in May over the years – really interesting. 

So here I am again. Healing my heart. This show tore it up a little lol. Just really disappointed in all it could have been and all it wasn’t. Still grateful for the experience. Still grateful for the journey. Just trying to figure out my next steps and where I go from here. 

Thank you Mama Ocean for your healing, your peace, your strength, your wisdom. I’m grateful to have had this time by her side to be still and recalibrate. It was a huge blessing to my life at a time I really, really needed it. 

Do you have any healing memories from the ocean? Or the forest, or plains, or desert? We all respond to nature in our own ways – the forest with its creeks and waterfalls can be equally healing for me. What about you? 

Some pics from the ocean over the years … ❤️❤️❤️