I’m so angry.

I thought I’ve been pretty angry before, especially over the last decade.  But this anger – it takes the cake.

I am so angry that people are so unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.

I am so angry that people want to give a blanket statement of “I’m sorry,” and expect that to erase years worth of pain inflicted on another human.

I am so angry that people have on blinders that keep them from seeing things from other viewpoints since they just have this “I’m right, you’re wrong” attitude.

Above all, I am so angry that I am viewed as spiritually lessor because I choose not to follow mainstream Christian beliefs.

I do know what the Bible says, and I do decide not to follow it.  I also know what many other religious texts say, and I do decide not to follow them either.  They all have their own corruptions and skewed versions.  I can’t really say I wholly “believe” anything these days.

What I do “believe” in are the simple practices of being a good person.  Those are the parts of the Bible I will choose to follow.  Those are the parts of the other holy texts that I can reason with and see value in.  Those are the only things that really matter in the long run – being a good person and using every ounce of your energy to make the world a better place.

That means voting for representatives that will always put forth the greater good above all else.  Above each individual, above money, above power, above forfeited acceptance that it’s “just the way things are” and nothing can change.

That means accepting people for who they are and where they’re at – to allow them to live whatever life they want to live as long as they are happy and not hurting others.

That means not asking people to change – not asking people to do or believe what you want them to.  It means trusting their own intuitions and that what they are doing is the best for them individually.

That means not expecting people to “forgive and forget” and just go back to going through the motions to keep everyone happy all the time.

That means allowing people as much time as they need to heal. Because NO ONE can dictate what it is you need to heal other than yourself.  Nor can they dictate the timeline of doing so.

Forgiveness and retribution are tricky ones.  We’re always told to “forgive and forget” and move on – that not forgiving is too heavy a load to bear.  I agree with that – to an extent.  But forgiveness without retribution – that’s when it gets tricky.  It’s a lot easier to forgive when you feel the other person got what was coming to them.  I can forgive the kid who assaulted me because he’s serving almost 20 years in prison because of it.  But those who feel they’ve done no wrong – those are the ones who are more difficult to forgive and detach from.

I’ve been angry for too long.  This anger has stolen my joy and stifled my creativity.  I don’t want to be angry anymore.  But until I fully feel this anger and feel justified in it, it won’t go away.  I guess that’s my ego getting the best of me.  I have a right to be angry, and I’ve been told for years that I don’t and that I’m not supposed to, so I don’t think I’ve really let it come to the surface.  There is power in the anger, though.  Anger is a huge motivator.  Anger can give us the motivation to do what we never thought we could do.  Anger creates change.  Anger brings truth to the bullshit.  Anger exposes the darkness so it can be filled with light.

I’m not saying that clinging to anger is good, though.  It’s not.  Letting it overtake you can be soul-damaging, joy-stealing, and despair-inducing.  But the anger is there to tell you something.  If you don’t take care of it and do what it wants you to do, it won’t go away.  The anger will only be released when you feel you’ve been able to channel it appropriately.  Be it having it out with a loved one, seeing a corrupt politician lose office, or helping legislation be passed that helps the greater good.  Justice helps heal anger.  It doesn’t have to be the only cure, but it definitely helps.

How do you process your anger?  Do you allow yourself to feel it?  Or do you shove it to the side and ignore it, paying it no attention, only avoidance?  Do you have healthful ways of expressing your anger?  Kickboxing?  Running?  Hiking?  Screaming?

Allow yourself to feel the anger.  It’s part of the human experience.  Then ask yourself what your anger is trying to tell you.  Then take some steps to make some changes to quell that anger.  Create boundaries.  Cut off toxic relationships.  Create positive change.  Use your anger to fuel your inner fire to create the changes you want in your life.